Welcome to Breast Augmentation 101. Please take your seats and turn to page “34C”. Passing notes and text messaging are permitted at all times 🙂
Thinking about getting breast implants, but not sure how to pick the right size? Here are 5 of the easiest, and most reliable, ways to choose:
This is a very tough situation, and the most appropriate way to start the discussion is to take a second to recognize the tremendous courage and perseverance that women put forth towards the fight against breast cancer, and the selfless devotion of the doctors who help them win the battle.
Your decision to get breast implants in a situation like this boils down to one consideration: Will you be too worried about getting breast cancer to enjoy your fabulous new implants?
According to British intelligence, Al-Qaeda physicians are performing breast augmentation surgeries on female suicide bombers, and the results are explosive!
The implants they are using are made from a plastic explosive called PETN, which is undetectable by standard airport scanners, especially when it is surgically implanted. Whether or not these real-life booby traps pose any practical threat is still being debated, so don’t get nervous if you happen to be sitting next to a well-endowed woman who looks like Osama Bin-Laden on your next flight.
In the meantime, stick with the silicone and leave the PETN to girls who definitely won’t be shopping for a new bikini this summer.
Breast augmentation is officially the #1 cosmetic procedure in the United States. In 2009, over 310,000 women got breast implants! 311,957 to be exact (according to the American Society of Aesthetic Plastic Surgery, ASAPS). Continue reading